A few weeks back a new friend of mine asked me if I was interested in trying out rock climbing. When I first moved to Colorado about 9 years ago it was my intention to learn how to climb. I was looking into classes. Then I became busy with life, marriage and children, school. Here I am on the other end of the marriage part, separated and divorce pending. No new story there. What is new, however is the opportunities that have arrived. My mentality has changed due to the split with my mate. I have made a conscious effort to let go of control and fear. Because of this I have made several new friends, embarked on new art projects I wouldn't have otherwise considered, visited Italy, become a member of NEXT gallery and now I have gone rock climbing. These have come to me because of my receptiveness to them and they present me with new challenges, which I am grateful for.
Two friends and I visited the North Table Mountain rock formations in Golden, Colorado yesterday. The formations we climbed are called Honey, I shrunk the Hemorrhoids. I have only known these guys for about a month and in that time have only gotten together with them a few times. I commented on how strange it was that I trusted them despite this, while there are other people in my life I've known longer who I would not have trusted with belaying me while I climb a rock face. Anyway, they are very peaceful and patient personalities.
I began by watching and learning vocabulary. Take is what you say to indicate to the person belaying that you need the rope tightened, you need a break and want to hang from the rope, or you may fall. Slack is what you say to indicate a looser rope. As I took the first few grips, I was able to let go of the overwhelming idea of scaling the rock up to the anchor, the top bolted loop through which the rope is threaded. My mind was focused on finding the next couple of holds, the next move to get me to the top. There was no fear for me. I had expected to feel scared of falling, but I didn't once feel that fear. I'm not boasting, I find it incredibly odd. There was really only this choice of giving up or going on that I had to struggle with occasionally. For instance, it was my first day and I went up a route that was rated a 5-9. Easy is 5-5 and the ratings go up to 5-15. This was mostly vertical with a small overhang. At one point, I was flattened up against a vertical wall with a couple small lips for my toes and one handhold I didn't feel very confident about. My legs and arms were tired and I kept shifting to give one limb a rest at a time while looking around for another grip that would lead me to another grip. At that point, I thought I was going to have to give up and rappel down, but I chose to stay there and seek out a way to continue and with the help of my excellent coaches below I made it to the top anchor. Also on this climb, I remember being about four feet away from being able to high-five the anchor and thinking, maybe I've gone far enough, this is my first day climbing after all. Then I thought, I've come this far and I want to do it all the way. On another climb there was a point where I had to press my arms against opposing outcroppings and work my feet up to a waist-high foothold before lurching to a new hand-hold. I knew I could make this move physically, but I had to convince myself that it was going to work, I had to wait for confidence to well up inside of my gut. After I succeeded passing this maneuver, I was mentally messing with myself and thought for the first time about falling. Even with a tether, there is a chance that you can fall incorrectly, smack against rock, and there are safety measures, if overlooked, could prove fatal. I didn't feel in any danger and I thought to myself, I would be okay dying this way. The worst case scenario is that I would die rock climbing and I would be okay with that! Psychology is so important during the climbing. I feel like I learned new things about myself through this experience. It definitely fortifies the confidence. Now, what I was doing was top-roping, which means someone has already led; gone up to the top and threaded the rope already. Leading is different because there are times in between bolts when the climber is risking a free fall of several feet. This increases the fear factor which impedes on one's perception of one's own ability. It was very humbling to watch my more experienced friends performing the lead climbs.
As I hiked down from the formations, my legs a bit wobbly, my toes feeling like they've been minced, fingertips throbbing, I thought about how I was basically accomplishing my bucket list this year. This thought immediately bothered me. What happens when you've cleared your bucket list? You're done? Are these things happening for a reason that I don't know? I had to stop my thoughts as I was being seduced by over-analyzing.
I definitely want to go back and climb more, but I also want to actually learn technique that will improve my abilities. There are different things that turned me on about rock climbing, the puzzle is a big one that excites people. Piecing your climb together one move at a time is like a mind puzzle, it requires thought. A lot of the climb felt very intuitive, I had the feeling I was tapping into memories of my ancestors. I thought, if I were forced to save my life by climbing up this rock face, I could. One of my favorite moments, during my first climb on a 5-8, was a moment when I had found a small ledge to stand on, I was leaning up against the rock, a narrow but deep crack behind me emitting a cool air current. I was trying to catch my breath, my body rising and falling with release, when a small, white butterfly delicately hovered about a foot in front of my face as if examining my progress for about 5 seconds. Later on, back on the ground, an orange butterfly landed on my hand and stayed there for several minutes. I looked closely at its eyes and wondered if those multi-faceted eyes saw into multiple facets of existence which we don't see with our single lens eyes. I kept thanking my friends for inviting me to join them. It was satisfying to my soul.
Two friends and I visited the North Table Mountain rock formations in Golden, Colorado yesterday. The formations we climbed are called Honey, I shrunk the Hemorrhoids. I have only known these guys for about a month and in that time have only gotten together with them a few times. I commented on how strange it was that I trusted them despite this, while there are other people in my life I've known longer who I would not have trusted with belaying me while I climb a rock face. Anyway, they are very peaceful and patient personalities.
I began by watching and learning vocabulary. Take is what you say to indicate to the person belaying that you need the rope tightened, you need a break and want to hang from the rope, or you may fall. Slack is what you say to indicate a looser rope. As I took the first few grips, I was able to let go of the overwhelming idea of scaling the rock up to the anchor, the top bolted loop through which the rope is threaded. My mind was focused on finding the next couple of holds, the next move to get me to the top. There was no fear for me. I had expected to feel scared of falling, but I didn't once feel that fear. I'm not boasting, I find it incredibly odd. There was really only this choice of giving up or going on that I had to struggle with occasionally. For instance, it was my first day and I went up a route that was rated a 5-9. Easy is 5-5 and the ratings go up to 5-15. This was mostly vertical with a small overhang. At one point, I was flattened up against a vertical wall with a couple small lips for my toes and one handhold I didn't feel very confident about. My legs and arms were tired and I kept shifting to give one limb a rest at a time while looking around for another grip that would lead me to another grip. At that point, I thought I was going to have to give up and rappel down, but I chose to stay there and seek out a way to continue and with the help of my excellent coaches below I made it to the top anchor. Also on this climb, I remember being about four feet away from being able to high-five the anchor and thinking, maybe I've gone far enough, this is my first day climbing after all. Then I thought, I've come this far and I want to do it all the way. On another climb there was a point where I had to press my arms against opposing outcroppings and work my feet up to a waist-high foothold before lurching to a new hand-hold. I knew I could make this move physically, but I had to convince myself that it was going to work, I had to wait for confidence to well up inside of my gut. After I succeeded passing this maneuver, I was mentally messing with myself and thought for the first time about falling. Even with a tether, there is a chance that you can fall incorrectly, smack against rock, and there are safety measures, if overlooked, could prove fatal. I didn't feel in any danger and I thought to myself, I would be okay dying this way. The worst case scenario is that I would die rock climbing and I would be okay with that! Psychology is so important during the climbing. I feel like I learned new things about myself through this experience. It definitely fortifies the confidence. Now, what I was doing was top-roping, which means someone has already led; gone up to the top and threaded the rope already. Leading is different because there are times in between bolts when the climber is risking a free fall of several feet. This increases the fear factor which impedes on one's perception of one's own ability. It was very humbling to watch my more experienced friends performing the lead climbs.
As I hiked down from the formations, my legs a bit wobbly, my toes feeling like they've been minced, fingertips throbbing, I thought about how I was basically accomplishing my bucket list this year. This thought immediately bothered me. What happens when you've cleared your bucket list? You're done? Are these things happening for a reason that I don't know? I had to stop my thoughts as I was being seduced by over-analyzing.
I definitely want to go back and climb more, but I also want to actually learn technique that will improve my abilities. There are different things that turned me on about rock climbing, the puzzle is a big one that excites people. Piecing your climb together one move at a time is like a mind puzzle, it requires thought. A lot of the climb felt very intuitive, I had the feeling I was tapping into memories of my ancestors. I thought, if I were forced to save my life by climbing up this rock face, I could. One of my favorite moments, during my first climb on a 5-8, was a moment when I had found a small ledge to stand on, I was leaning up against the rock, a narrow but deep crack behind me emitting a cool air current. I was trying to catch my breath, my body rising and falling with release, when a small, white butterfly delicately hovered about a foot in front of my face as if examining my progress for about 5 seconds. Later on, back on the ground, an orange butterfly landed on my hand and stayed there for several minutes. I looked closely at its eyes and wondered if those multi-faceted eyes saw into multiple facets of existence which we don't see with our single lens eyes. I kept thanking my friends for inviting me to join them. It was satisfying to my soul.
1 comment:
AMAZING!
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